I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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