if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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