You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
