oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
foreskin is a definite game changer
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
