You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
