kristin has been a bad kristin
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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