how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
