Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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