Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i will never coherently bang her
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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