i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
