i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
