dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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