An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
