My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize