My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
