It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
