You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
