From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
