Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
