What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
