All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
