Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
