Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
