It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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