It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
