is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
