You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
