I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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