My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
