Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
