the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
