I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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