Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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