I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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