so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
