i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize