Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize