Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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