please come you make the beer taste better
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
