3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize