no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
