So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
