the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
