I wanna bring you to show and tell
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
