I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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