Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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