yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
