Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
