Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
