Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
