i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have fence marks all over my body
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
