Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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