Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
