'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
