I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
