I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
do herpes really smell.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize