well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
