the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
