she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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