So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
