if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
did you just send me my own nude
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
