you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
