Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We need to get me chipped asap
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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