did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
